Hi Angels. I've missed you all so much in the past few months! I've been really busy with working over the summer, and then moving back to school and starting a new semester as well as a new internship. Yeah, I barely have time to stop and take a breather but it's nice to keep busy, and since I graduate this year, I need to be prepared for the grown-up life. (Me, a grown-up
)
We're all pretty close here and we've all shared some very important, very personal things with eachother, and I'd like to do the same today.
I'm sure you can tell by the title what I'm going to say. This weekend, I went home and decided to finally come out to my parents. Ugh, and it was hard too.
I decided to first tell my mom. I sat her down and just came right out with it. She was very upset at first, saying things like, "Are you sure? No you can't be. That's not a life you want to live. How do you know?" She was shocked, and I don't blame her. She apparently had thought a few times in the past about the possibility of my being gay, but she always dismissed it.
So once she got calmed down a little bit, we talked about it, and I helped her to understand some things and to maybe see things a little differently. She understands that it's not a choice, and it's not something that I can help. She realizes that I'm still the same person and nothing has changed, except that one day I will be with a guy instead of a girl. Of course, most of her issues were her worrying about me, not necessarily her telling me it's wrong or immoral. She is a strong Catholic, but she didn't even bring up religion or church.
While I was out that night, she called me, and I could tell she was very upset on the phone. She said that she couldn't keep it from my dad and that I should come home and tell him. Well I wasn't planning on telling my dad yet, one parents was enough of a hurdle for me. (Although, in retrospect, I probably should have sat them both down and told them together. I shouldn't have told just my mom, and then expected her to live with that secret until I was ready to tell my dad). I told her that I didn't want to come home, I was out with friends I hadn't seen in weeks, and she said she might talk to him for me. Well, she told him everything. When I came home, he was already asleep, but I knew I'd have to talk to him the next day.
So Saturday, I woke up, and he was outside working in the yard. We made some awkward small talk, and finally I just brought it up. He is upset and basically just does not understand it. He thinks I can change if I want to, he thinks if I just talk to someone or get professional help I can get some guidance and see things differently. I tried to impress upon him that I am not struggling with this, nor am I looking for help. I am just ready to share with the world who I have known myself to be for years. He was also worried about people finding out and what people would think of him and my mom. It's hard to make them realize that anyone who would care isn't really someone they want as their friends anyways. I think he's going to best deal with this by trying to forget about it. It's not the best way to cope, because someday he's going to have to accept it and understand that it's not going away. He has my mom to help him through this, because she's a lot stronger about it than he is. And luckily I'm back at school now, so I can give them some space to deal with this, as well as space for myself.
So all in all, I think this is really good news. It certainly could have gone a lot worse (although I wasn't worried about being disowned or anything like that). It's just going to take some time. I sent my mom a link to a website called PFLAG (as per Brian's recommendation
) it's a support site for parents of gays and lesbians.
On the lighter side, after I told my mom, she said "Well I guess that explains your obsession with that Johnny Weird guy!"
We're all pretty close here and we've all shared some very important, very personal things with eachother, and I'd like to do the same today.
I'm sure you can tell by the title what I'm going to say. This weekend, I went home and decided to finally come out to my parents. Ugh, and it was hard too.
I decided to first tell my mom. I sat her down and just came right out with it. She was very upset at first, saying things like, "Are you sure? No you can't be. That's not a life you want to live. How do you know?" She was shocked, and I don't blame her. She apparently had thought a few times in the past about the possibility of my being gay, but she always dismissed it.
So once she got calmed down a little bit, we talked about it, and I helped her to understand some things and to maybe see things a little differently. She understands that it's not a choice, and it's not something that I can help. She realizes that I'm still the same person and nothing has changed, except that one day I will be with a guy instead of a girl. Of course, most of her issues were her worrying about me, not necessarily her telling me it's wrong or immoral. She is a strong Catholic, but she didn't even bring up religion or church.
While I was out that night, she called me, and I could tell she was very upset on the phone. She said that she couldn't keep it from my dad and that I should come home and tell him. Well I wasn't planning on telling my dad yet, one parents was enough of a hurdle for me. (Although, in retrospect, I probably should have sat them both down and told them together. I shouldn't have told just my mom, and then expected her to live with that secret until I was ready to tell my dad). I told her that I didn't want to come home, I was out with friends I hadn't seen in weeks, and she said she might talk to him for me. Well, she told him everything. When I came home, he was already asleep, but I knew I'd have to talk to him the next day.
So Saturday, I woke up, and he was outside working in the yard. We made some awkward small talk, and finally I just brought it up. He is upset and basically just does not understand it. He thinks I can change if I want to, he thinks if I just talk to someone or get professional help I can get some guidance and see things differently. I tried to impress upon him that I am not struggling with this, nor am I looking for help. I am just ready to share with the world who I have known myself to be for years. He was also worried about people finding out and what people would think of him and my mom. It's hard to make them realize that anyone who would care isn't really someone they want as their friends anyways. I think he's going to best deal with this by trying to forget about it. It's not the best way to cope, because someday he's going to have to accept it and understand that it's not going away. He has my mom to help him through this, because she's a lot stronger about it than he is. And luckily I'm back at school now, so I can give them some space to deal with this, as well as space for myself.
So all in all, I think this is really good news. It certainly could have gone a lot worse (although I wasn't worried about being disowned or anything like that). It's just going to take some time. I sent my mom a link to a website called PFLAG (as per Brian's recommendation
On the lighter side, after I told my mom, she said "Well I guess that explains your obsession with that Johnny Weird guy!"
Keeper of Johnny's beautiful boo-tay, and Johnny's feet.
